The role of a carer is not only driven by infinite love for family members but also by selfless dedication. Connie has been taking care of her husband, who suffers from macular degeneration and diabetes, for more than thirty years, enduring numerous challenges along the way. However, for the sake of her family, she has persevered all along.
In 1980, Connie’s husband suddenly developed macular degeneration, and the doctor warned that both of his eyes would be affected within the next ten years. At that time, Connie held her four-year-old daughter in her arms and carried an unborn son in her belly. She felt frightened, helpless, and tears streamed down her face. From then on, Connie embarked on this path of a caregiver. Fortunately, her husband’s eye condition did not worsen for several years, giving them temporary relief. However, seven years later, her husband was diagnosed with stage four diabetes. Due to the severity of the illness, he had to start medication immediately and control his diet. Controlling his diet proved to be a challenging task as her husband had a strong passion for food. Disputes between the couple arose every time this topic was discussed. Obedient Connie silently endured her husband’s temper, even enduring hurtful words that pained her deeply.
Three years ago, Connie became a volunteer at the Hong Kong Rehabilitation Society and joined the “SMARTCare · Caring with You” Carer Support Network Program upon the invitation of a friend. Seeing Connie live a monotonous caregiving life every day, her friends could not bear it and introduced her to a social worker at the center. Gradually, Connie started filling in as a volunteer answering phone calls, and she has been doing it for three years now. During these there years, Connie gained courage and confidence through her volunteer work, making her more assertive in communicating with others. Additionally, Connie found a group of fellow caregivers through the “SMARTCare” program’s ink painting interest group, where they shared their thoughts and caregiving experiences, learned from each other, and shared their burdens.
Her journey would not have been smooth if not for the encouragement Connie received from Miss Yip, the social worker, over the past three years. Miss Yip’s support provided Connie with the strength to move forward. Through her volunteer experience in the Community Rehabilitation Network, Connie began to assert herself in front of her husband, unexpectedly leading to an improvement in his temperament. This unexpected change in her husband made Connie’s carer journey way more tolerable. And as Connie became busier with her volunteer work and activities at CRN centre, her time with her husband decreased, unintentionally improving their relationship and reducing conflicts. This made Connie realize that allowing each other appropriate space is an important part of maintaining a relationship.
Connie discovered that she is not only a caregiver but also a strong and independent individual. Her value is not only reflected in caring for others but also in her self-care and personal growth. Although taking on the role of a caregiver is a long and challenging journey, it is also a process full of growth and discovery.
