At 24 years old, we may have just entered the workforce with wholehearted expectations and aspirations, or we may be enjoying carefree moments with friends, or even exploring the beauty of the world in pursuit of our interests. Wa, at the age of 24, also had infinite possibilities ahead. However, fate had a surprising role in store for this young soul—a young caregiver.
At the end of 2014, Wa’s mother suffered a brainstem hemorrhage and was hospitalized in a severe stroke condition, nearly losing her life. Wa’s mother had always been in good health and used to handle all the household affairs. The sudden stroke of Wa’s mother left the family without a pillar of support. Since then, Wa and Wa’s younger brother took on all the caregiving responsibilities and household chores, including taking care of their hospitalized mother, elderly father, and younger sister who was still studying. Wa had to quit job to become a full-time caregiver.
“It was truly sudden, and I never expected to face such challenges at this age. Initially, I felt immense pressure, fear, and uncertainty, worrying that my mother might leave us and feeling completely lost.” Faced with this dilemma, Wa did two things. First, Wa developed a care plan before their mother’s discharge through the assistance of social workers, online resources, shared experiences from fellow caregivers, and resource introductions from friends and relatives. The plan included arranging for their mother’s transition to a nursing home and hiring a caregiver to guide the worker on how to take care of Wa’s mother. After returning home, Wa applied for the Tung Wah Group of Hospitals’ home care services through a social worker, and they would visit Wa’s mother to help with exercise. As Wa’s mother recovered, Wa arranged for her to receive stroke rehabilitation treatment at the The Hong Kong Society for Rehabilitation Cheng Tak Yim Day Rehabilitation and Care Centre. Second, Wa rallied the strength of their family, leveraging each person’s strengths to jointly care for the family, particularly in assigning roles with Wa’s younger brother. Wa and Wa’s brother had contrasting personalities—Wa tends to be more contemplative, slower in decision-making but meticulous in actions, while the brother is more impulsive but decisive. Initially, they had many disagreements and even arguments while taking care of their mother and managing household affairs. In the end, they discussed and divided the tasks according to their respective personality traits—the brother, being decisive, made decisions regarding treatment and recovery arrangements, while Wa, being meticulous, took care of the household chores.
“Looking back on the past two years, everything turned out just right. Amidst the misfortune, we also found great blessings. I’m grateful that we didn’t give up too quickly, and we witnessed the rewards of our perseverance—a united family. Moreover, I personally experienced growth during this year at the age of 24, learning how to take care of others, and our family’s cohesion became stronger than ever. In the past, due to our different personalities, my relationship was always filled with conflicts. Through this journey, we began to appreciate each other’s strengths and discovered that our personalities could complement each other. Although our father, being older, couldn’t contribute much in terms of care, he provided unlimited support to our mother on a spiritual level. And my younger sister, who used to be more introverted under our mother’s protection, has now become more outgoing and independent, no longer relying on our mother for everything. While there may be differences in opinions among family members at times, what matters most is that we all have the same starting point. Only through unity can we overcome the challenges of caregiving.”
After Wa’s mother’s discharge, Wa realized the importance of an inclusive and barrier-free community. “Ever since we had issues in our own family, I have been particularly attentive to individuals in wheelchairs or those with mobility difficulties around me. Whenever I see someone in need, I proactively offer help, hoping to create a barrier-free community within people’s hearts.” Wa also discovered that patients under 60 years old with severe and chronic illnesses can only receive limited government-funded community resources, and most of them have to rely on self-financing services. “Without the support of community services and the provisions of a barrier-free community, caregivers may feel compelled to give up.” This caregiving journey was certainly not easy, but Wa also gained plenty from it. Wa has now returned to work, and Wa’s mother has made significant progress. With support, she can walk and express herself more clearly.
